Barbie puts on a bit of weight.

Mattel are introducing new Barbie dolls.  The two weathermen looked down at their bodies.

Weatherman 1 : Mattel are adding tall, curvy and petite to their line of Barbie dolls this year. They claim they are offering choices that are more reflective of the real world.

Weatherman 2 : Are they doing obese?

I hereby give you 24 hours of notice of my arousal

A man in York has been ordered to notify police 24 hours in advance of sex, under a sexual risk order. The two weathermen looked at their diaries.

Weatherman 1 : Did you read about that chap who has to disclose to the police about any planned sexual activity?

Weatherman 2 : Yes. I wasn’t sure if it was okay if it was unplanned. Mine is never planned. If I told my wife I planned to have sex with her tomorrow night she’d arrange a night out with her friends.

Dog poo DNAs - is it helping to cut down on fouling?

In Barking and Dagenham a dog poo DNA test has been running in an attempt to catch the culprits. The two weathermen stepped carefully around the matter.

Weatherman 1 : I saw a film which was talking about swabbing dogs for DNA so that they can catch owners who let their dogs do poos in public places and don’t clear up.

Weatherman 2 : Yes I saw that one. Barking and Dagenham it is – very forward thinking. I applaud their attempt; it costs the council £2.3 million a year to clean up at the moment in that borough alone.  People who don’t own dogs will resent that.

Is there a link beween Tim Peake and Bogdan Barbulescu?

A Romanian court found a company innocent of violating an employee’s rights, after the company read his emails. The two weather men looked at their keyboards.

Weatherman  1 : What are you doing?

Weatherman  2 :  Just sending a text to my wife telling her I’ll be a bit late home tonight.

Tracey reprises Amy Johnson's adventure

Tracey Curtis-Taylor has landed in Sydney.  The two weathermen flew with the news for a few moments.

Weatherman  1 : Tracey Curtis-Taylor has made it to Australia at last. It took her 3 months in that little bi-plane.

Weatherman  2 :  Amy Johnson got to the Darwin in less than 3 weeks back in 1930. That’s not a lot of technological progress is it? 85 years later you are 4 times as slow.