Heathrow's third runway. Do we need it? The 2 weathermen look at infrastructure.

There will be yet another review to assess the merits of a third runway at Heathrow airport. The two weathermen compared it to HS2.

Weatherman  2 : Do we need a 3^rd runway at Heathrow?

Weatherman  1 :  The government isn’t sure. It is taking a bit of extra time to decide. It originally said “no” but now that has shifted to “let’s look at it again.” Businesses seem to be in favour.

WM2 : I read that we need a hub airport. Other European cities have them and we are losing out.

WM1 : What does the city get out of it?

WM2 : I’m not sure. Amsterdam is a hub. If you want to fly to South America, going via Amsterdam opens up lots of flight options. But how that benefits Amsterdam goodness knows.

WM1 : It’s great if you are a plane spotter because more aeroplanes are in the skies overhead.

WM2 : But if I am a passenger, I never leave the airport. I might buy a coffee in an airport bar, but the Dutch economy gets diddely squat. What is the justification for all the extra noise?

WM1 : Ah, but there’s noise reduction plans. One idea is that all vehicles operating at an airport should be electric and silent.

WM2 :  No-one complains about the noise of a tractor pulling an aeroplane; it’s the thing in the sky which upsets locals.

 WM1 : And it is going to cost £20 billion or so. That’s quite a lot of jobs I suppose for someone.

WM2 :  That £20 billion will be spent anyway. It’s not going to sit in a bank. If the runway doesn’t get it, HS2 will – or some other project. People in Carlisle will tell you flood defences need that sort of investment.

WM1: It’s not unlike HS2 is it? Nimbyists fighting it, rail companies wanting it, billions to be spent, and the arguments for it unproven. I can get to Manchester in half the time on a train travelling at 250 mph; but why do I want to? And if I miss it because the bus connection was late and I have to wait another hour for the next one, how is that helping?

WM2 : Yes; to cut journey times, everything has to link up smoothly. At some point there’s a weak link. High speed train but slow speed bus caught in a traffic jam.

WM1 : And even if the bus was on time I might miss it because I overslept.

WM2 : It was the noise from that 3^rd runway which disrupted your night and made you sleep through the alarm.

WM1 : They haven’t built it yet, but I was worried they might.

WM2 : Infrastructure as a concept is fine – but the cost paid by those affected scars their lives. You ask anyone living by a motorway. We all want railways, airports and motorways – but don’t put them where I live, put them over there.

WM1 : Where is over there?

WM2 : Anywhere I am not, unless I am using it at the time.

WM1 : And if it is there, you will use it I suppose, sooner or later. You never knew you needed it, until it was there, so infrastructure shapes our lives.

WM2 : Don’t think they weren’t already shaped – they were just shaped differently.

WM1 : No wonder there is procrastination. It’s a pity they can’t dig a tunnel. An underground airport would silence the critics... except that at some stage an aeroplane has to surface to fly.

WM2 : Paranoia about being left behind in the 21^st century drives these ventures.

WM1 : Can’t they just drive in a different direction? What if they spend it in Carlisle and not at Heathrow?

WM2 : The government will be criticised for doing some things and not doing others. So they commission more research. That’s cheaper than doing something.  It’s a win win. They are not spending the billions, but say they are looking at ways to. People are getting rich writing reports. Consultancy is big business.

WM1 : Don’t we applaud decision? This seems like indecision.

WM2 : Yes. But this is responsible indecision – and that’s okay.