How to issue warnings to Russian pilots

The Russians are upset because Turkey shot down one of their aeroplanes.  The two weathermen looked at warnings.

Weatherman  1 : That Russian pilot says no warning was given before he was hit by a Turkish missile.

Weatherman  2 :  And Turkey says it was.

Trident missiles can be hacked. Should we be worried?

Trident submarines can be rendered obsolete by hackers.  The two weathermen looked at the red button.

Weatherman  1 : Lord Browne, a once Defence Secretary, says hackers can mess with our nuclear weapons and make them malfunction. When the Prime MInister says “destroy so and so country now,” the submarines may not be able to.

Weatherman  2 :  Isn’t that a good thing?

Song writers are being robbed

Songwriters are suffering because of streaming. The two weathermen sang a chorus.

Weatherman  2 : The Music Publishers Association says song writers don’t get the rewards they deserve because the new music distribution networks hang on to royalties.

Weatherman  1 :  Music does seem cheap these days.

When a half marathon grows a bit..

Half marathon competitors in Thailand got 4 miles added to their run. The two weathermen looked at their blisters.

Weatherman  1 : There was a half marathon in Bangkok which ended up as 17 miles instead of 13. Runners are upset.

Weatherman  2 :  Yes, there was a sign telling runners to take a wrong turn – although it didn’t say “wrong turn this way” on it.

Do police officers need a degree?

  

The College of Policing claims police officers should have degrees.  The two weathermen polished their boots.

Weatherman  1 : The College of Policing says police officers aren’t well educated. They need degrees because the job is demanding.

Weatherman  2 :  A degree in what?

What makes for a good watch? Tick tock.

  

The issue of what invalidates a watch guarantee cropped up in conversation between the two weathermen.

 Weatherman  1 : I had a flat battery in my watch. I took it to the jewellers for a new one.

Weatherman  2 :  Straight forward for them.

Footballers and bad teeth. Open wide....

  

Footballers have bad teeth according to dentists.  The two weathermen said arrrhhhhh.

Weatherman  1 : The British Journal of Sports Medicine says footballers have bad teeth. 53% of those examined needed fillings.

Weatherman  2 :  I would imagine quite a few have teeth missing. Those matches get a bit ill tempered sometimes and fists fly.  I thought all those rugby players in the world cup had missing teeth – then I realised it was their gum shields. Every other tooth was painted black so that they seemed fearless to the opponent. Clever. Maybe footballers watched it and thought they were real missing teeth, saw how successful New Zealand were, and got stuck in to the Cadburys?