When a half marathon grows a bit..

Half marathon competitors in Thailand got 4 miles added to their run. The two weathermen looked at their blisters.

Weatherman  1 : There was a half marathon in Bangkok which ended up as 17 miles instead of 13. Runners are upset.

Weatherman  2 :  Yes, there was a sign telling runners to take a wrong turn – although it didn’t say “wrong turn this way” on it.

WM 1 : Athletes want a refund.

WM 2 : You would have thought they would be grateful. If I buy something and there’s more of it than I expected, I would be delighted.

WM1 : 25% extra free you mean?

WM 2 : Yes. I saw a “buy one, get one free” sign in a shoe shop. I told them I expected that anyway – the sales girl hadn’t spotted the sign and didn’t get it.

WM 1 : Some of the runners were exhausted. One got a taxi.

WM 2 : Now that is cheating. At least it was fair. It was 17 miles for everyone.

WM 1 : The winner David Mutai was peeved...he hoped to break a record, but no-one has set a time for 17 miles before. He is the fastest man in a race no-one wants to run. It took him more than one and half hours, and the Bangkok record is one hour six minutes. There was an extra £550 prize money if someone beat the old record; he might have, if the organisers hadn’t added a detour.

WM 2 : He’ll be immortalised in records then; I am not sure what the fuss is about. Isn’t he the magnetic chap?

WM 1 : What?

WM 2 :  I read there’s a special magnetic oil you can rub on your legs which makes you run faster. David endorses it.

WM 1 : Isn’t it a banned substance?

WM 2 : No I don’t think so – because it’s on the outside of your body, it’s allowed.

WM 1 : A bit like sunglasses or a hat then – if you wear those I suppose your rivals can’t complain you are gaining an advantage. How does it work?

WM 2 : The manufacturers claim it gives you energy but I reckon the trick is in the title. He probably has to wear underpants with iron in them, and he gets his accomplice to hold a magnet at the finishing line...and he gets pulled along.

WM 1 : Clearly the magnetic forces in Bangkok aren’t as strong as elsewhere though, if it took him 90 minutes to do 17 miles. Or he needs bigger underpants for a bigger lump of iron. You might have thought that carrying iron would be a handicap?

WM 2 : They are skinny those African runners; he can afford a bit of extra weight. Anyway, what’s the worst that can happen? If they trained for 13 miles, they might feel a little more tired, and they might have a few more blisters – but it isn’t going to kill them is it?

WM 1 : Just as well - otherwise the organisers would be facing charges of corporate manslaughter.

WM 2 : And the committee said sorry and are giving out a free T shirt to those who finished the course.  They’ve allowed themselves 45 days to post them though – seems a long time to wait.

WM 1 : Well why wait a month when you can wait 45 days? 50% extra free again.

WM 2 : It’s probably because they haven’t printed it yet.

WM 1 : And the T shirts will all be bigger than the runners want.

WM 2 :  I suppose the man from the sponsors got bored waiting to hand out prizes. Looking at his watch and asking “where are they?”

WM 1 : The organisers start it really early. They hand out the trophies at 7.00 am. Registration is at 1.00 am.

WM 2 : That’s probably it then. It started in the dark and the runners just got lost. When David went up the wrong street because he couldn’t see where he was going, everyone followed him. “Are you sure David?” the second place runner called, and David panted over his shoulder “yep, follow me.” That would be my defence in court anyhow, if I was the organisers.

WM 1 : If I were them, I’d make next year’s marathon 4 miles shorter and average out the two – wait until 2016 to award this year’s medals. Sort of compensation.

WM 2 : People would laugh at them;  there again.....