when is a vote not a vote? And what is a referendum?

  

The issue of when a vote isn’t a vote interested the two weathermen.

 Weatherman  1 : So are we in or out of Europe?

Weatherman  2 :  We’re going to think about it.

How a slow motion video can change our perception of events...

A US study has noticed that juries are more likely to convict a defendant if video evidence is shown in slow motion. The two weathermen applied the brakes.

Weatherman 2: I read that if you see a video of crime in slow motion, you are more likely to think the burglar or murderer was guilty, than if you see it at normal speed. It seems that if I watch you in slow motion doing something, it can look like there was more intent, and intention is an important factor in determining guilt.

Weatherman 1: Astonishing. Don’t the jury realise it is slow motion?   

Panting police officers - is it a problem?

Nearly 2000 Police officers in the UK failed their fitness test in 12 months. The two weathermen did a few press-ups.

Weatherman 1 : Did you read that the Police aren’t very fit?

Weatherman 2 : My wife assures me the local coppers are very fit – but I don’t think she is referring to their athleticism.

The office of the future - is it a place for work or play?

Since technology is allowing workforces to be more flexible where they work, companies are making offices better places to be, so that staff do actually turn up.  The two weathermen erected some goalposts and kicked a football around the office.

Weatherman 1 : I read that Google have installed a slide in their canteen so that staff can play games in their tea breaks.

Weatherman 2 : I understand that employers want to keep their staff engaged with them – it’s harder to be engaged when you are not physically present.

Is being fat pejorative? Cherchez la Femme think not.

Facebook got into trouble when it stopped an image of an over sized model from being used as an advert for Cherchez la Femme. The two weathermen pinched some cellulite.

Weatherman 1 : Did you read that Cherchez la Femme were upset when Facebook prohibited one of their posts being used as an advert? It featured  a generous woman in a bikini.

Weatherman 2 : Was she giving away ice creams?

BHS is finally selling something - itself

British Home Stores may be in administration, but lots of people want to buy it. The two weathermen went to the home furnishings department.

Weatherman 1 : I read the BHS is more popular than ever. People queuing up to buy it.

Weatherman 2 : Like who? Who wants to buy a failing business?

Seagulls in Conwy; what to do?

A seagull committee is being set up in Conwy to handle the scourge of swooping birds. The two weathermen put the bread crumbs back in their pockets.

Weatherman 1 : Did you read in Conwy in North Wales, there will be a special committee to look at Seagulls. They are a menace.

Weatherman 2 : Not just in Conwy. They are a menace everywhere.  The stupid public feed the pesky things. If you encourage a nuisance, it’s going to linger.

When does imitation stop being flattery and start to become plagarism?

John Cleese is considering suing a production company which puts on a dinner experience called Faulty Towers. The two weathermen considered plagiarism.

Weatherman  1 : John Cleese is upset. A company has changed Fawlty into Faulty and is making money from a show with Basil and Sybil in it. Some reports suggest it’s a million dollar show.

Weatherman  2 : Not just one show, there’s a few of them touring the world.  I counted at least 3 Basils and 4 Sybils.

Was Tyrannosarus a forerunner to Don Juan?

Uzbekistan has uncovered fossils of a forerunner to Tyrannosaurus Rex.  The two weathermen pondered the find.

Weatherman 1 : There’s a new dinosaur called Timurlengia. It would have been like a Tyrannosaurus, but smaller –about the size of a horse. They found fossilised bones in Uzbekistan that surround the brain and that tells them how it thought and how it sensed the world.

WM2 : How can a bone reveal how an animal thinks? It sounds like an exaggerated claim to me.

Maria Sharapova? Fault!

Maria Sharapova has been taking banned drugs. The two weatherman discussed whether her ball was in or out.

Weatherman 1 : I hear that Maria Sharapova is taking Meldonium.

Weatherman 2 : She claims the International Tennis Federation raised the net. She’d been taking it for years and it was allowed. Then they disallowed it and caught her out.

What to do with "spare" Is this a commercial opportunity?

Lorenzo Sciotti is one of the driving forces behind a new enterprise looking at renting hotel rooms out for a few hours to romantic couples.  The two weathermen looked at other walk-in scenarios.

Weatherman  1 : There’s a company flogging off hotels in the day for a fews hours so that lovers have a place to go to do whatever it is they do.

Weatherman  2 : That’s a new definition for happy hour.  I suppose it’s better than a grope in a park behind the bushes.

When computer clouds drop its contents, there's no umbrella

Adobe software has been deleting people's files. Our two weathermen at the met office did not press “agree”.


Weather Man 1: I read that Adobe's cloud has been deleting files without asking the owners.

Weather Man 2: Well if we will put files inside a cloud, we can expect trouble. Things fall through clouds. I learnt that as a child. 

 

Barbie puts on a bit of weight.

Mattel are introducing new Barbie dolls.  The two weathermen looked down at their bodies.

Weatherman 1 : Mattel are adding tall, curvy and petite to their line of Barbie dolls this year. They claim they are offering choices that are more reflective of the real world.

Weatherman 2 : Are they doing obese?

I hereby give you 24 hours of notice of my arousal

A man in York has been ordered to notify police 24 hours in advance of sex, under a sexual risk order. The two weathermen looked at their diaries.

Weatherman 1 : Did you read about that chap who has to disclose to the police about any planned sexual activity?

Weatherman 2 : Yes. I wasn’t sure if it was okay if it was unplanned. Mine is never planned. If I told my wife I planned to have sex with her tomorrow night she’d arrange a night out with her friends.

Dog poo DNAs - is it helping to cut down on fouling?

In Barking and Dagenham a dog poo DNA test has been running in an attempt to catch the culprits. The two weathermen stepped carefully around the matter.

Weatherman 1 : I saw a film which was talking about swabbing dogs for DNA so that they can catch owners who let their dogs do poos in public places and don’t clear up.

Weatherman 2 : Yes I saw that one. Barking and Dagenham it is – very forward thinking. I applaud their attempt; it costs the council £2.3 million a year to clean up at the moment in that borough alone.  People who don’t own dogs will resent that.

Is there a link beween Tim Peake and Bogdan Barbulescu?

A Romanian court found a company innocent of violating an employee’s rights, after the company read his emails. The two weather men looked at their keyboards.

Weatherman  1 : What are you doing?

Weatherman  2 :  Just sending a text to my wife telling her I’ll be a bit late home tonight.

Tracey reprises Amy Johnson's adventure

Tracey Curtis-Taylor has landed in Sydney.  The two weathermen flew with the news for a few moments.

Weatherman  1 : Tracey Curtis-Taylor has made it to Australia at last. It took her 3 months in that little bi-plane.

Weatherman  2 :  Amy Johnson got to the Darwin in less than 3 weeks back in 1930. That’s not a lot of technological progress is it? 85 years later you are 4 times as slow.