Buying a house for £1, and man's relationship with a bargain

Liverpool council are selling off old terraced houses for £1. The two weathermen discussed the seductive nature of a bargain.

Weatherman 1 : I read that in Liverpool you can buy a house for £1 – it’s amazing value. My local shop sold me 3 lemons for £1 last week.

Weatherman 2 : Your lemons were in better condition than those houses. No electric or gas, just empty damp shells. In Stoke the council loaned the owners the £30,000 renovation money, but Liverpool haven’t – proof of ability to pay for renovation is part of the deal.

WM1 :  So having £1 isn’t enough? No-one asked to see my cycling proficiency certificate when I bought a bicycle.

WM2 : Or your driving license when you got your car. There was a stampede in Liverpool, even with that proviso.

WM1 : Something for nothing is hard to resist. My mum used to go to jumble sales and she said the women would elbow each other out the way to reach the clothes mountain. There are probably lots of elbows at B&Q just now, all buying bathrooms and kitchens.

WM2 : Liverpool’s loss leader. Entice people with something cheap and they will spend money in the city.

WM1 : Maybe people in the council and B&Q’s directors know each other. Nudge nudge.

WM2 : I doubt there’s corruption but everyone understands that if you are stuck with something, dropping the price will get it off your hands. I know of one property dealer who used to sell old properties. He wouldn’t touch them - even with a coat of paint. He said if you do nothing, people think they are getting a bargain.

WM1 : Liverpool could have knocked them down and built new houses.

WM2 : They would need to spend money they haven’t got. And selling for £1 is good publicity for the city.

WM1 : The jumble sales up there must be good. If the council ran them, they’d probably pay you to take the stuff off their hands.

WM2 : Just now everyone thinks Liverpool is a wonder city, so the trains and buses are crammed with tourists, the hotels get booked up, the bars and cafes are heaving....the streets are crowded.

WM1 : I guess it works the other way too. Make things expensive and exclusive and no one comes.

WM2 : On the contrary, we all go there to see how the other half live. Kensington’s streets are filled with tourists looking at expensive houses they can’t afford and cars they can only dream about owning. No one buys anything in Harrods; they just drool over the expensive merchandise. We gravitate to places that are really cheap and really expensive.

WM1 : What happens to places in the middle where it’s sort of beige and average?

WM2 : We avoid them. No-one wants to be average, and there’s a lot of average in the UK.

WM1 : Actually, most of us live there. Miles of suburbia with the odd supermarket to feed the inhabitants. I know; I’m one of them. But you’re right; we don’t see many tourists, only if they’re lost.

WM2 : There’s a whole television machine feeding avarice. Cheat your neighbour will be the title of the next. Millions watch these programmes wishing it had been they who found the antique in the attic.

WM1 : Lift your carpets, pull up your floorboards and Cash amongst the cobwebs is born. Who thinks these up? Do they lead us into vice, or merely hold a mirror up to ourselves?

WM2 : I bet they don’t think about it...they just see the amount of money the commissioning editor will offer them for making it.

WM1 : What’s on telly tonight? Anything good?

ica;color:#404040'>: What’s on telly tonight? Anything good?