On not winning a prize...

The two weathermen were talking about prize winning today, or rather - not prize winning.

Weatherman 1: I was reading that last year someone in Portugal won £150 million on the euro lottery.

Weatherman 2: It’s a huge sum.

WM1:  But why do I need to know? Why do newspapers tell us? The only thing that matters if I bought a ticket, is that it wasn’t me. I am not interested in who won.

WM2: But you read the story in the paper; you could have turned the page.

WM1 :  Okay then, I’m interested in a sort of jealous way. The news feeds my desire to win – so I will compete again. I knew I stood virtually no chance....virtually, there was just a chink of optimism. I lost on the lottery last week too.

WM2: That’s their hope. They want you to be motivated by envy to enter again. I got sent an email the other day about a car I didn’t win. What’s the point in that? Mr. Clarke held the keys in the photo, shaking hands with some car dealer and smiling....he should have been blowing a raspberry to everyone who didn’t win. “Na boo sucks, I won and you didn’t.”

WM1 :  That would have been rude.

WM2 : But it’s the same sentiment. I bet if you asked the competition organisers they would tell you they are teaching us all to lose with good grace.

WM1 :  I was tempted to do it with a romantic rival once – I wanted to shake his hand and tell him that the prize had been worth fighting over, but that I was delighted I won. I thought better of it.

WM2 : Now that is really puncturing a man’s ego. You’d get a bloody nose if you tried. I’m doing it with my kids at the moment. We roll a dice and bet money on getting a six. It teaches them that losing is to be expected.

WM1 : You might be turning them into gamblers, and the false impression that they win even some of the time will seed a desire to win again.

WM2 : Well I started with tossing a coin but the odds were too good. It’s true, I got it young. My big brother would run around the garden with 50p and promise me that I could have it if I caught him. I never did. To this day I have never won a bean.

WM1 : Raffles are the same. We don’t care who won the bouquet, only that we wasted £1 on a strip of tickets. I have never gone over and congratulated a raffle prize winner.

WM2 : You should try and they might give you a rose bud.

WM1 :  They would choose one with a thorn if they did. They won – now go away.

WM2 : So are you buying a ticket this week?

WM1 :  Not sure; I still feel cheated by last week’s loss.

WM2 : If you fall off a horse...

WM1 :  As weathermen, we should know better. We know that even if you pack your sunglasses and fly off to the sun, it could rain. Umm, now think where I could go if I won the lottery...

WM2 : I see you are starting to feel better.