Digital amnesia - is it here to stay? I can't remember the answer.

We are losing our memories because we rely on computers too much.  The two weathermen probed the issue. Well, we say probed...

Weatherman 1 : Many people these days use computers to look up information instead of using their memories.

Weatherman 2 : So are we forgetting things?

WM1 :  No, to forget something, it must first have been remembered. We are not forgetting  – just being lazy. We don’t know the phone numbers of our friends anymore.

WM2 : Isn’t that because I used to have six friends and now I have six hundred? Their numbers used to be easy and now we keep adding digits in a random sort of way which, by way of their obscurity, makes them impossible to recall.

WM1 :  I know what you mean. And when we do remember them, we recall them in a single pattern. Mine is 078 787 786 54 but people in call centres read it back to me as 0787 8778 654 and I sound stupid saying “erh I don’t know.” And they say “well that’s what you said” and you get into an argument about the correct way to order digits. No wonder we rely on computers.

WM2 : But we can’t remember everything. When I did my school exams I had an intimate knowledge about a few subjects, and now I have a vague idea about lots of things. It’s probably the same amount of information, just not centred on Acne in the Roman Empire, or whatever it was we studied.

WM1 :  It’s called digital amnesia. If we look things up all the time, we don’t create a lasting memory.

WM2 : Dreams aren’t much different. I had a really bad one last night which spooked me and thankfully I have forgotten most of it. I just recall the cold sweat, not the detail. My wife repeated a few bits which I had called out in terror,  over Cornflakes . I told her to forget it.

WM1 :  It sounds like you are suggesting that forgetting is good for you. It’s an incendiary asset with girlfriends.

WM2 : Incendiary?

WM1 : Well there was one where I couldn’t remember her number, but I still recalled the lady before her... NEVER confess to your woman that you remember the number of an ex, even if you know hers too. Feign digital amnesia. If you want to live, that is.

WM2 : I don’t know what the fuss is all about. It’s just that we don’t need to remember anything now, so we don’t. What’s the point in memorising information you never use? I know all the players in the Arsenal squad from 1990, and their dates of birth....so what? What use is that? It sounds like I’m a stalker if I recite them off to you.

WM1 : Britain came off worst in a survey of Northern European countries. We have the worst memories.

WM2 : No surprise there. We under perform in so many areas when you compare us to our European partners. Best thing is not compare – it’s depressing.

WM1 : What else are we bad at?

WM2 : I can’t remember now, I read it on the internet......ah, I begin to see the problem.

WM1 : Use it or lose it, was a maxim of my father. Maybe we should take heed...

WM2 : It’s lunchtime.

WM1 : Yes I am off to get a sandwich. Now where did I put my car keys?

WM2 : “Take heed”, did you say?