Nuisance phone calls

A company has been handed a £200,000 fine for nuisance calls after making over six million automated calls in a campaign to sell solar panels. The 2 weathermen at the Met Office discussed it during a tea break.

Weatherman 1 : Did you hear about that company who was done for nuisance phone calls about solar panels?

Weatherman 2 : Hear about it? I was a victim.

The classroom is a jungle

School crime is hitting the news again with 30,000 allegations arriving on the policeman’s desk in 2014. The 2 weathermen's tea break was a chance to explore it.

Weatherman 1: I see crime is up in schools. Theft is one of the biggest.

Weatherman 2 : There must be a lot of temptation lying around, open bags and carelessness.

Old Wine in Crimea

There is uproar in Crimea because Vladimir Putin and Silvio Berlusconi drank wine uncorked after 240 years. Our 2 weathermen were chatting about it.

Weather Man 1: Did you read that Putin and Berlusconi were drinking old wine in Crimea?

Weather Man 2: How old was it?

iTunes change their agreement with the customer

iTunes terms and conditions have changed again. The 2 weathermen were chatting about it.

Weatherman 1: I had to sign a new agreement with iTunes if I wanted to continue to use it, a message said - turned up on my computer.

Weatherman 2 : Did you read it? I didn’t.

When is a sport not a sport?

Sport England has defended its decision not to class the card game Bridge as a sport, ahead of a judicial review into the ruling.  The 2 chaps from the Met. Office were chatting about it.

Weatherman 2: So Bridge isn’t a sport, it’s a game. It’s official, according to Sport England.

Weatherman 1: One judge reckoned it was more active than rifle shooting.

Cheating exhaust emission tests

Volkswagen is in trouble. It deceived US exhaust tests to make engine emissions appear less harmful than they really are. Our two weathermen were discussing it.

Weatherman 2: I’m worried about my VW.

Weatherman 1: Why? Is it unreliable?

Anthony Gormley's fallen statue

An Anthony Gormley statue installed at Kimmeridge Bay earlier this summer has been blown over by the wind. Our two weathermen were discussing it.

Weatherman 1: Did you read that Gormley’s statue toppled over in Dorset?

Weatherman 2: It couldn’t have been very well attached. We could have told the people at the Landmark Trust how bad the storms were down there.

Artistic computers

Mankind is watching with interest as computers develop towards being a creative entity capable of artistic expression. Our two weathermen at the met office were discussing it last week.

Weather man 1: Did you read about that software called Aaron?

Weather Man 2: No. What is Aaron?

WM1: It's a a computer program that has been painting big dramatic, colourful pieces. It was written by Harold Cohen…the algorithm was so clever it said "thanks Harry, pass me a pencil" -- and off it went.

Diesel supplies running low

There is a danger Britain's diesel pumps could "run dry" because of a growing dependence on foreign fuel, according to the RAC Foundation. The two weathermen were discussing it.

Weather Man 1: I read that we are running low on diesel. There is a big demand for it and our refineries cannot keep up. We are importing more than we refine so we are at the mercies of international markets.

Weather Man 2: Oh dear. I've got a diesel.

Universities teaching badly

Too many universities in England have allowed teaching to become "a poor cousin" to research, Universities Minister Jo Johnson has warned. Our two weather were discussing higher education.

Weather Man 1: I see Universities are in trouble again because there's too much emphasis on research and not teaching apparently.

Weather Man 2: And those students pay £9000…they don't get the £9000 worth of teaching.

Alien Message

A network of UK researchers has decided to compose a message to aliens - but they are divided over whether to send it into space and actually what should be in the message.  Those two chaps who work in the met office were chatting again this week and the topic cropped up.

Weather Man 1: Did you hear those boffins from Breakthrough are thinking of writing a message which introduces mankind to civilisations beyond our planet?

Weather Man 2: Yes. I wonder what is the essence of human kind greeting? What do you say to an alien from Mars?

Naming storms

Members of the public are to be given the opportunity to name storms deemed to have the potential to cause 'medium' or 'high' wind impacts in the UK and Ireland. People will be able to suggest possible names to the Met Office in the hope that it will help raise awareness of severe weather and ensure people protect themselves and their property before it strikes. The Met Office is teaming up with Met Eireann in Ireland to run the pilot project over the autumn and winter.

Two Weathermen were chatting about it in the office.

Weather man 1: there's a biggy approaching over the Atlantic. 90 mph winds and torrential rain. We need to name it.