Nuisance phone calls

A company has been handed a £200,000 fine for nuisance calls after making over six million automated calls in a campaign to sell solar panels. The 2 weathermen at the Met Office discussed it during a tea break.

Weatherman 1 : Did you hear about that company who was done for nuisance phone calls about solar panels?

Weatherman 2 : Hear about it? I was a victim.

WM1 : No way! What did he say?

WM2 : Well they must have signed a deal with some other weather forecasters – because they apparently only ring when the sun shines, and it was an automated call.

WM1 : Not us, we wouldn’t support such dodgy dealings.

WM2 : I have no idea who told them, but they start off with “Good morning, isn’t it a lovely day? “

WM1 : What do they do when it’s raining?

WM2 : They maybe change it to “behind those clouds there’s a power source you could tap into.”

WM1 : Every cloud has a silver lining ....

WM2 : Something like that. They went on to “Did you get your last Utility bill through yet? Shocking isn’t it?”

WM1 : How do they know how big it is?

WM2 : They don’t – they must just bank on us all being like Scrooge and resenting paying anything for anything. The message did say “Gas and oil aren’t getting any cheaper.”

WM1 : It’s a clever ploy. No one likes bills, certainly not rising ones. It’s dead money.

WM2 : Then they went for that old ruse of saving. “Think of how much money you could save if you had solar panels like all your neighbours. Your bills would be a fraction of the size they are today.”

WM1 : Ah, so jealousy and keeping up with the Joneses in tandem with saving. Irresistible. Do your neighbours have solar panels?

WM2 : No. And they finish with “You’d be saving the planet too, because any excess energy generated will be fed back into the national grid.”

WM1 : Pulling on environmental  strings and ticking the I’m going to make money boxes. Well they lost money. They received a £200,000 fine.

WM2 : That’s a hit.

WM1 : There’s a suggestion by the Information Commissioner that the company made people’s lives a misery.

WM2 : That’s over stating it. They cost me a minute of my day, but misery? Jehovah’s witnesses – now that’s misery. You try to say no thank you when they ring your bell and before you can close the door again, Jesus has placed a sandal through onto your doormat and is talking about sinning and salvation.

WM 1: Sounds like they work for the solar panel people to me.

WM2 : Well I suppose you could argue that solar panels is a divine intervention in our lives. Save the planet and yourself into the bargain. If Jehovah didn’t think of it, he should have.

WM1 : I know they make big claims for solar panels ....but heading off Armageddon with light absorbing silicon cells is going a bit far.

WM2 : If we cover every available square foot with solar cells it might as well be the end of the world. They are so ugly.

WM1 : Man’s a meddler. It’s not just the husband tinkering with his lawnmower in the garage. We do it on a global scale. Mine for oil, coal, gas, build across flood plains, fit solar panels everywhere. We are our own worst enemy.

WM2 : Mankind is the cloud.

WM1 : Thinking of which, we better get back to our jobs.