Artistic computers

Mankind is watching with interest as computers develop towards being a creative entity capable of artistic expression. Our two weathermen at the met office were discussing it last week.

Weather man 1: Did you read about that software called Aaron?

Weather Man 2: No. What is Aaron?

WM1: It's a a computer program that has been painting big dramatic, colourful pieces. It was written by Harold Cohen…the algorithm was so clever it said "thanks Harry, pass me a pencil" -- and off it went.

WM2: Golly was it any good?

WM1: Well Harry took a sort of parental view of it; he created it, but then Aaron went off and did its own thing which wasn't anything to do with Harry.

WM2: Sounds like my kids then. Some of their behaviour... no idea where that comes from.

WM1: Harry was better at colouring than Aaron though. When Aaron tried colouring he tipped over the pots of paint and made a mess.

WM2: This sounds more and more like my children. Did the paint seep out onto the keyboard?

WM1: No, Harry confiscated the paint and left Aaron with the pencil-and-ink bit to do.

WM2: My kids sulk when you do that sort of thing. I wonder what a computer sulk is like? How does a computer fold its arms and become a hurrumph refusnik?

WM1: Download windows 8, that should do it.

WM2: I suppose that it's inevitable that as computers are told more, they will be able to apply that knowledge in creative ways.

WM1: Aha, now creativity. You are at the hub of the problem there. A couple of engineers recently tried to "see" inside a computer brain to work out how it was learning about the images they gave it.

WM2: Windows 8 needs a lobotomy - just a thought.

WM1: The engineers discovered that such networks could actually create their own painting, based just on random-noise pictures.

WM2: Have you been around the Tate Modern recently? Sounds about the same. And some of the Proms, come to think of it. The BBC commissioned a few random noise pieces this year.

WM1: The computers created nightmarish, hallucinatory visions. It was if the computers had been fed hallucinogens like magic mushrooms and LSD.

WM2: I remember as a kid, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds and seeing castles and men with big beards and pipes. I am relieved the met office don't ask us to do this during our apprenticeship, given how much rain has fallen this week.

WM1: Wel that's a good analogy. We remember things we have seen before and our brains inpose these patterns on to what we see around us now. The consequence is that we see a man puffing Three Nuns out of an altocumulus.

WM2: But is it creative?

WM1: And if was, do we want it? Do we need an iMac Mozart? What's the point?

WM2: Yes, do we want computers to nick all the good bits? I'm happy with my laptop picking up an iron and pressing my shirts, but hey - my imagination is sacrosanct.

WM1: It's getting too close to the heart and soul for comfort.

WM2: I suppose we can't be surprised that if we give machines the ability to do things, they might want to try.

WM1: There's always an off button.

WM2: With my kids, the only off button they know is bed time. All the rest of the time, we feed them Cornflakes, information, and let them develop skills; they then go off and play havoc with it. I got half a library on my head the other week when I walked through the lounge door.

WM1: Mischief requires imagination.

WM2: Or someone else to tell them how it's done. After I had tied them to a chair and tickled their feet for 10 minutes, my kids confessed they got the idea from an old comic. If computers learn tricks like that…...

WM1: Where will it end do you reckon?

WM2: The day my computer places a pile of books above a half-open door, it will end in shattered pieces of silicone in the dustbin.

WM1: Professor Mark Riedl, from the Georgia Institute of Technology, says humans inhabit a rich complicated world. If computers cannot feel it, breathe it, sense it, touch it - then they will never reach our levels of imagination.

WM2: So don't give them noses, eyes, legs and hands then. We have eyes, but we close them to the dangers.

WM1: It's happening though. We are giving computers increased mobility, size nine shoes, an umbrella and a macintosh and letting them explore the world.

WM2: Oh dear. I think on balance I'd rather have my kids' devilment than a PC with legs and an imagination.