Naming storms

Members of the public are to be given the opportunity to name storms deemed to have the potential to cause 'medium' or 'high' wind impacts in the UK and Ireland. People will be able to suggest possible names to the Met Office in the hope that it will help raise awareness of severe weather and ensure people protect themselves and their property before it strikes. The Met Office is teaming up with Met Eireann in Ireland to run the pilot project over the autumn and winter.

Two Weathermen were chatting about it in the office.

Weather man 1: there's a biggy approaching over the Atlantic. 90 mph winds and torrential rain. We need to name it.
Weather man 2: well we've had lots of suggestions. I have an in-box full of names.


WM1: what like?


WM2: well one of my favourites was Katie.


WM1: you can't call it Katie. They'll think of Katie Hopkins and you know what she did to the reputation of the met office. We'll be getting fired if we use that.


WM2: well how about Priscilla?


WM1: Priscilla? It sounds like a little girl in a party frock with a lollipop. Far too benign. We're talking destruction and devastation. The name needs to put FEAR into the hearts of all who hear it.


WM2: How about Uventus?


WM1: Uventus?


WM2: yes, ventus is latin for wind and the u bit …well people will think "your wind"


WM1: No they won't they will think of 90 mph farts or a football team…and besides which you just made it up and that's cheating. I thought we were collaborating with Ireland. What's in from over there?


WM2: Well Oisin has come in, that's alright.


WM1: Doesn't sound very threatening though.


WM2: It depends how you say it. If you linger on the "o" bit and dribble away the sheen bit, make it sound like an angry Northern Irish republican like "ohh sheen", well that could be scary. 

WM1: But what if our weather forecasters can't do a threatening republican accent? We can't have the way it is said being a factor.

WM2: Noleen?

WM1: No.


WM2: Fintan?


WM1: Not much better. Who said it had to be a person's name? 


WM2: Our boss Derrick said names raise awareness of severe weather before it strikes.


WM1: I've got one….Duck.


WM2: That's an animal - we'll get fired like Katie.


WM1: Wellington?


WM2: Duck Wellington. It sounds almost statesman like. It reminds us of Waterloo - triumph over adversity, and it tells people to keep their heads down and not to get their feet wet.


WM1: yeh, okay - but you tell Derrick. I'm off to buy an umbrella.